


i love you as a whole (when you think you're in pieces)

by archivedjemily



Series: what's yours will find you [2]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Comfort, F/F, a lot of love, and a whole lot of love okay, and guess what, and thats all thanks, angsty, but she's not, emily doesnt care, emily doesnt think so either, jj feels broken, jj has scars, set immediately post 200, they are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26709610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archivedjemily/pseuds/archivedjemily
Summary: Set post-200: JJ leaves the bar and heads back to Emily's hotel with her and has a hard time letting Emily see the physical reminders of what she has gone through. JJ/Emily. Angst/Comfort
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Series: what's yours will find you [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1943773
Kudos: 59





	i love you as a whole (when you think you're in pieces)

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy!! it's kind of sad, but i promise its a good ending!

JJ watched as Will got into a cab that was heading back towards their home, leaving him with a promise to return home in the morning after she said her goodbyes to Emily. She closed her eyes, letting the cold air fill her lungs before letting it all go, turning back towards the brunette behind her. She willed herself to not analyze the choices she was making, why she was going back to her friend’s hotel instead of home with her husband.

“You can go home with Will if you want, Jayje. It’s been a long day, I’m sure you want to be with him.” The words came out of Emily’s mouth, but the conviction she usually spoke with was absent. She wanted JJ to come back to her hotel, to have tangible confirmation that the blonde was safe and alive. 

JJ ignored her words, not having the emotional capacity to muster up an answer. She looped her arm through the slender one next to her, guiding them to Emily’s rental car that was parked down the street. 

The ride was quiet, the car slowing only when they pulled underneath the covered entrance, Emily tossing the keys to the valet along with a few bills she pulled from her purse. Walking into the elevator, JJ stood closer to her friend than would ever be considered platonic, needing to feel the warm body next to her, to have something ground her to the present. 

After a long walk down the quiet hallway, they walked into the hotel room at the end of the hall. It was massive, and if JJ had the energy she would have made a quip about the perks of being “Ambassador Prentiss’ daughter”. But she didn’t, so the room stayed silent. 

Emily observed the blonde, who hadn’t spoken since she had heard her say goodbye to Will back at the bar. She guided the small woman to the bed, watching her reactions as Emily trailed a hand down the fabric that covered strong legs, eventually working the shoes off of JJ’s feet. 

When she had finished her task, she walked over to the suitcase lying haphazard on the floor, forgotten in her earlier haste to find JJ. She quickly changed out of the clothes she was wearing, opting for soft underwear and a college t-shirt. Picking out a second t-shirt she knew JJ had always grabbed from her drawers, she walked back over to the bed.

JJ just looked at Emily with a soft reverence. If she had gone home with Will, she knows he would be bombarding her with questions. Asking her to talk about what had happened, dredging up everything she just needed a second to escape from. 

Emily’s eyes asked a silent question, and JJ’s answered. Kneeling back down, Emily reached for the button at JJ’s waist, unclasping it and sliding the zipper down in one gentle move. JJ pushed up on her hands, lifting her body up just enough for the brunette to slide her pants down over the curve of her bottom. 

Pulling the stiff denim down the rest of the way, Emily let her fingertips trail on the exposed flesh underneath them. She stood as she tossed the pants towards the open suitcase. Reaching for the hem of JJ’s shirt, she was startled as the blonde gasped, body visibly flinching at the contact. 

Emily’s hands slowed, her body moving to sit next to JJ as she gently placed a soft palm on JJ’s hip. 

“It’s okay, JJ. It’s over, you’re safe.” Emily told her in a voice barely over a whisper. 

Glistening blue eyes met brown ones, and JJ took a breath before speaking, heavy tears starting to fall down her face. “I know,” she started softly, trying to sort out the flood of admiration and _love_ she was feeling for the woman in front of her. 

It had hit her all at once, the understanding of where her heart truly lived, when she was lying on the cold concrete floor earlier that day. The vision of Emily, crouching down next to her, softly caressing the bloody skin of her face, had been all she needed to promise herself to hold on. 

When Emily had actually come, the _I love you_ on JJ’s lips came out as _I knew they’d call you_. Maybe it was enough. The way the older woman was looking at her, and treating her right now told JJ that it was. That Emily understood exactly what she was feeling, and felt it right back. 

Emily was watching as an array of emotions filtered through JJ’s eyes, her heart clenching when she saw them settle on what she had hoped was love. 

“I saw you today,” JJ continued, seeing confusion make its way onto Emily’s face. She opened her mouth again, hoping to help Emily make sense of her confession. “I was about to give up, I didn’t think I could do it anymore, I was in so much pain, Emily. I saw you then, in my mind, and I knew you were coming.”

She was crying properly now, Emily’s own tears falling freely. The brunette couldn’t think of anything to add, so she pulled JJ into her arms, tucking the blonde’s head underneath her chin, placing a soft kiss into soft hair. 

They sat that way for a while, before Emily scooted them back towards the head of the bed, laying flat and sinking into the soft mattress. 

JJ broke the silence some time later, speaking so quiet that Emily wasn’t sure it was real. “I think I love you, Emily.” The words came out slowly, JJ trying them out for the first time, enjoying the way they slipped out of her mouth. 

Emily looked down at the woman in her arms, bringing a hand up to push stray hair off of JJ’s face. She ran her fingertips along smooth cheeks, wiping away the remnants of tears that had fallen. 

Her chest felt tight, in awe of the younger woman, hoping that her words weren’t a byproduct of the trauma and adrenaline she had felt over the last few days. But she trusted JJ implicitly, and knew that she wouldn’t say something she didn’t mean. 

JJ shifted her glance to look up at Emily, hoping to see a look that mirrored the love and certainty she felt in her own eyes. What she found took her breath away. 

A thousand thoughts raced through her head when she met Emily’s stare. Pictures of slow nights and easy mornings, spending holidays together and exploring new places with kids in tow, stolen touches between two lovers under blankets on the jet, the safety of knowing her heart would be taken care of. 

The blonde stretched up towards the woman now lying partly underneath her, pausing only slightly as she watched a smile so bright grow on Emily’s face. She closed the rest of the space, pressing her own smile onto Emily’s, moving her body to completely cover the older woman’s.

Smooth legs rested against each other, tangling as they found their way underneath the comforter. JJ pushed her hands into silky, dark hair, finding purchase and pulling Emily even closer to her. She felt hands spread out against her lower back, bringing JJ’s pleasure to a startling halt. 

She sat up, resting her bottom against pale thighs, heart hurting at the look of hurt she saw in Emily’s eyes. The brunette sat up quickly, holding the blonde and moving to sit back against the headboard, words of apology on her lips. 

“No, stop. I want this Emily, you need to know that. I meant what I said.” The words came out quickly, JJ wanting to reassure the woman in front of her that her feelings were genuine. 

Emily carefully considered JJ before slowly nodding, trusting what she had said. The older woman’s hands found a place to rest against the blonde’s thighs, rubbing soothing circles as she waited for JJ to continue. 

“I am damaged, Emily. He broke me.” The words came out around a sob, JJ leaning forward to collapse against Emily as tears came again. JJ couldn’t stop thinking about the burn on her side, the bruises that covered her body, the aches that were a constant reminder of the ordeal of the last few days. She didn’t want Emily to see her like this, she didn’t want to see herself like this.

“Don’t let him take anything else from you, JJ.” Emily spoke slowly, quietly. She knew exactly what JJ was feeling. Remembering a time not too long ago where she had faced JJ on the firm couch on the jet, letting the blonde’s words guide her through a similar trauma. 

Time passed, and JJ’s cries slowed, and when Emily felt the blonde’s chest stop jumping, she guided their bodies apart just enough to look into JJ’s eyes. 

Emily shifted their positions again, pushing JJ’s body down next to her. When the blonde had relaxed into the sheets, Emily threw a leg across tan thighs, moving to sit and look down at JJ. 

She reached down slowly, not wanting to startle the fragile body beneath hers, and grabbed the hem of JJ’s shirt. Raising it up slowly, she helped JJ sit up a tiny bit and pulled it over blonde hair. Letting her body move down, she rested on her forearms a few inches above JJ’s chest.

Looking at her in the eyes once more, she was encouraged by the way JJ’s eyes darkened slightly. Emily took her time, pressing her open mouth to every bruise she found. When she reached the raised, broken pink skin at JJ’s side, she ran her hand slowly over it before trailing kisses around the edges of it.

JJ reached down and grabbed Emily’s hand, tangling their fingers together, needing as many points of contact as she could get. 

As Emily continued her slow praise of JJ’s body, the blonde would have sworn her whole world was shifting on its axis, righting itself again. 

_Nothing would be the same again,_ JJ knew that to be true. The thought had scared her earlier in the day.

But now, the person she loved was here with her, replacing every physical sign of brokenness with promises of hope.

_Nothing would be the same, but maybe they would be better._

**Author's Note:**

> love you, mean it!!


End file.
